I woke up to some hefty tantrums from my two year old, was already feeling emotional for whatever reason (feeling trapped in winter, lingering sicknesses, pregnancy hormones, etc.) and by the time Jake was heading out the door to leave, I could hardly say goodbye through my tears as I put the kids’ socks and underwear in the drawer.
Later that morning I stood at my kitchen sink washing dishes from the night before, staring at the hazy mounds of white and bare branches out the window. Winter has been hard this year. It’s only January and yet I am feeling so trapped in this cold, insatiably dreaming of warm places and green trees. Even the desert sounds dreamy. Cliche as it all sounds, these feelings are so drowning sometimes.
Lately I’ve been trying to focus on getting things done, playing with the kids, and appreciating every ounce of sunshine that beams through our windows. I am trying to be positive, to keep my head up.
This morning I sang hymns while I did the dishes.
As I sang the words to this children’s song, I realized they were exactly what I needed to hear.
Jesus is fairer. He is more than all those meadows and flowers and beaches that I long for. He can make my sorrowing spirit sing. I need to be reminded of that. While I wait for those beaming rays on my legs and toes, He can be my light and my warmth.
As I finished the song, I felt a calming peace around me, like I was being wrapped in a hug. It filled me from the inside out–every longing hushed. His Spirit was there, lifting me from my sadness, reminding me that He is there, He is always there. I felt the Savior’s love, and that was more filling than any sparkling seashore or desert sand that I have so lately craved.
I really needed that, and Heavenly Father knew. That’s why He sent His Son to be our Savior, because we really need Him, every hour we need Him, even when we don’t realize it at first.
Grateful for that reminder today. He made my sorrowing spirit sing.