Category Archives: Moments

Buddies

Ava and I sat on my bed with our legs stretched out scooping the last of the crumbs from the bag of chips. It was quiet except for our talking and crunching and the few cars going by outside. “I can’t wait until Hyrum wakes up so I can play with him,” she said.
These two have been playing together a lot lately and it’s one of my favorite things. He follows her and copies her and runs around dancing and chasing monsters with her and she couldn’t love it more. And I’m right there with her. I couldn’t love it more. #mamanotes

A Family Valentines

I sat on the back porch in the afternoon sun watching the kids squeal with excitement to be outside. They chased bubbles on the steps and down the only narrow pathway paved from snow. Ava made some new tracks through the backyard mounds and Hyrum got stuck trying to follow. Then she sat on the fence by the little tree and said, “Hey mom do you remember when I used to climb this tree?” like it’s been years since it had leaves and branches warm enough to climb. Sometimes it feels that way.

Then Jake came home with chocolate covered strawberries and an empty snack container to make a piggy bank with Ava. She was so excited.

We lit candles and ate on paper plates to avoid dishes after dinner. Hyrum kept trying to blow the candles out and turn back on the lights (he’s only seen candles on a birthday cake and that’s just what you do!) We pulled the sparkling grape juice from the snow outside and cheers-ed to a Happy Valentine’s Day with our four paper cups.

We finished the night with a game of candy land and cinnamon rolls from a dear friend then watched the kids dance to music across the family room floor before tucking them in bed with lots of I love you’s.

Ava fell asleep within minutes of cuddling, and when I laid next to Hyrum to try to help him fall asleep, he pressed his little hand onto the side of my face, brought it right against his and gave me a kiss. I smiled the happiest of smiles and told him I loved him, to which he replied, “Love you Mom.” My heart could burst I so adore him.

Between the love of my life and these two little love bugs, we’re all just full of love over here and I just feel so lucky. #mamanotes

A Growing Heart

While I was penguin walking up the stairs this morning in my robe and overdue-for-a-shower hair, feeling the weight of this growing bump in my hips and the icky cold that’s been going around, Ava stayed right at my side, looking up at me.

Surely she was wondering why mom was looking so disheveled.

“How come you keep looking at me?” I asked in my raspy congested morning voice.

“Because I just love you, and you made my birthday feel so special.”

I stopped and looked down at this little five year old, who just a few years ago hardly noticed the significance of such a day. It sure meant a lot to hear that. Last night against the heaviness of our tired eyes and achy heads, Jake and I stayed up late putting together her new bike and decorating the house with streamers and balloons. I didn’t want to stay up, I wanted to go to sleep. But things like this just make birthdays feel so special, and I knew Ava would love it. It was only eight in the morning and she was already spilling over with a grateful heart.

I spent most of the day on the couch, too sick to do much of anything, and I felt so bad that I couldn’t be more involved in doing special things for her on her special day. But she didn’t see that. She saw all the ways I was trying and said thank you so many times for making it the “best birthday ever.” (I think her first ever birthday party over the weekend helped with that. :))

In five short years, her cheeks have thinned, her curls have softened, and her little heart has grown. Or maybe that was mine. She is a radiant light that has only gotten brighter in our family over the years, and she is teaching me how to be more patient, selfless, and grateful (among so many other things).

At the end of the day while I worked in the kitchen finishing up her birthday dinner (she requested chicken stir fry), she ran around me like a little worker bee, putting away dishes, setting the table, even sweeping the floor for me. When I asked her why she was doing all that she said, “Because you’ve just made my birthday so special and I want to help you.”

Ava you surely bless us.

Fair are the meadows

I woke up to some hefty tantrums from my two year old, was already feeling emotional for whatever reason (feeling trapped in winter, lingering sicknesses, pregnancy hormones, etc.) and by the time Jake was heading out the door to leave, I could hardly say goodbye through my tears as I put the kids’ socks and underwear in the drawer.

Later that morning I stood at my kitchen sink washing dishes from the night before, staring at the hazy mounds of white and bare branches out the window. Winter has been hard this year. It’s only January and yet I am feeling so trapped in this cold, insatiably dreaming of warm places and green trees. Even the desert sounds dreamy. Cliche as it all sounds, these feelings are so drowning sometimes.

Lately I’ve been trying to focus on getting things done, playing with the kids, and appreciating every ounce of sunshine that beams through our windows. I am trying to be positive, to keep my head up.

This morning I sang hymns while I did the dishes.

Fair is the sunshine,
Fairer the moonlight
And all the stars in heav’n above;
Jesus shines brighter,
Jesus shines purer
And brings to all the world his love.

As I sang the words to this children’s song, I realized they were exactly what I needed to hear.

Fair are the meadows,
Fairer the woodlands,
Robed in the flowers of blooming spring;
Jesus is fairer,
Jesus is purer.
He makes the sorrowing spirit sing.

Jesus is fairer. He is more than all those meadows and flowers and beaches that I long for. He can make my sorrowing spirit sing. I need to be reminded of that. While I wait for those beaming rays on my legs and toes, He can be my light and my warmth.

As I finished the song, I felt a calming peace around me, like I was being wrapped in a hug. It filled me from the inside out–every longing hushed. His Spirit was there, lifting me from my sadness, reminding me that He is there, He is always there. I felt the Savior’s love, and that was more filling than any sparkling seashore or desert sand that I have so lately craved.

I really needed that, and Heavenly Father knew. That’s why He sent His Son to be our Savior, because we really need Him, every hour we need Him, even when we don’t realize it at first.

Grateful for that reminder today. He made my sorrowing spirit sing.

Minnesota Road Trip

A few months ago we decided to take a weekend away exploring some more of these northern parts of the US. So, we packed up and explored Minnesota and the north shore of Lake Superior! It was such a great trip. Unfortunately my morning sickness kicked in during the tail end of the trip so anytime I even thought about it (the whole trip) I would get a nauseous feeling and my mind would go back to those fig newtons and oat bars in the back seat. You know how sometimes you associate nausea to something you ate while sick? Well I did that for the WHOLE trip! And I didn’t like feeling that way, so I made a little video of our time there together and all the fun we had and now that nausea is completely replaced by good feelings. 🙌

In just four days we packed in so much and had a really great time together exploring so many new places– Mall of America, Duluth and Lake Superior, a mansion tour, an iron mine, hikes and waterfalls, and so many fall colors. I think it’s a pretty popular place to go and see fall colors in this area of the North. And, you know what people are called who go somewhere to see fall colors? LEAF PEEPERS. Ha! I just learned that the other day and thought it was kind of funny. So just think, you are a leaf peeper if you go up into those pretty canyons to see colors each fall. How great.

Anyway, I wrote down a few notes in my notes app on my phone while we traveled.  This is what I do when I really want to remember something but don’t have time to write out mama notes or a journal entry–of course, intending to make these notes into something like that soon after.

Well, I never got around to writing those entries, so I’ll just share these raw little notes I wrote along the way.  My memory probably wouldn’t be able to piece them together very well anyway (it’s why I write these things down! :))  It’s funny how reading over these I was reminded of things I had forgotten already!

On our way to Fargo. Over-researched hotels. Hyrum frustrated with Legos.  Ava whining of boredom. “I just want to be there.” Drove past combines harvesting grain at night. Lights on, dust.

Mall of America–Hyrum’s excitement. Ava just wanted cotton candy. Braved the roller coasters. Finally had Mexican food. Yum! Flying over America.  Dried breadsticks and pizza. Byu football in the hotel. Kept curtains closed with a pen and cap. We all slept until the morning. So well.

Duluth–Glensheen mansion tour. Hyrum wanting to go everywhere and touch everything but can’t. Skipping rocks on Lake Superior. Jake liked the boat dock. He said, “Someday we’ll get something like that. And a big boat.”  Ha! Kids excited about hard hats at the Soudan Iron Ore Mine–considered the Cadillac of iron mines. 6’8 tour guide–very knowledgeable. Hyrum: “Eeeya!” Getting rust all over us as they run around everywhere and we struggle to keep them by us. Very cool tours though.

General Conference on the radio while driving through tunnels of fall colors. Talk on Joseph Smith. Felt the Spirit witness truth.  Lost service while driving through the woods, the colorful trees. Listening to conference on the way home–through the north woods, the area with many lakes, leaves kicking up behind

One thing I do remember particularly–On our trip we listened to a lot of the LDS General Conference that was streaming live that weekend. It was pretty neat listening to all these inspiring, uplifting talks and songs while we drove through such beautiful places.  However, we lost service quite a lot. While we were driving up the north shore of Lake Superior, we lost service right before the Prophet spoke. I remember feeling so sad about that–I wanted so much to hear what he had to say. By the time we got service again, conference was over and we were about to stop to get something to eat anyway.

The next day when we headed home, we played a lot of the talks that we missed during the previous days, including the Prophet’s talk.  I just remember feeling so grateful that we have a Prophet, and we can hear or read –through His chosen leaders–what God wants us to know for our day anytime we want! It’s such a blessing.