Making Christmas in Our House

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Ava waited all day to get out the Christmas tree and the Christmas decorations. We cleaned the house and waited for my hard drives to finish backing up before we could move the desk and computer for the Christmas tree.

Then Jake put on a coat and his super tall boots and trudged through a few feet of piled snow drifts to the garage to get the tree and all the fun Christmas stuff.

We’ve been hibernating the past few days in our warm little townhouse while a true North Dakota storm has been piling snow and blowing it all around us. No school and work from home means a lot of together time and we really like that.

I’m supposed to drive to Bismarck tomorrow for an important ultrasound that needs to be done no later than this week so we’ll see if we can make it out there. School is closed again tomorrow.

We put up the Christmas tree, broke a few ornaments, and noticed that some chunks of lights weren’t working on the tree. So we decided to hold off on the ornaments and ribbon until we could get those working again, and tucked the kids into bed.

Ava sat up in her bed marveling at the little Christmas tree we set up in her room, the same one I had in my room when I was young. Her bed time prayer went something like this:

“Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the Earth and for Christmas. Thank you that we could have Christmas and make Christmas in our house today. Thank you for our bodies and that we could have a nice home to keep us warm. Please bless Mommy and Daddy and Hyrum and the babies and help us have a good day tomorrow. . In the name of Jesus Christ Amen. “

She fills my heart this little one.

Thankful

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Sunday, November 6

Earlier in the day I was feeling kind of crummy, and focusing on it too. Made me feel even more crummy. But then the afternoon came with its golden hues and unusual warmth for November, and I sat in a camping chair wrapped in a fluffy blanket basking in the best sounds I know.

It changed everything.

The kids were squealing and giggling as Jake rolled around in the burrito blanket playing steamroller. Jake and I were laughing too, the kids were so funny as they tried to jump and dodge him. They loved it. Then I’d hear Ava yell, “A car’s coming!” with Hyrum’s echo of “Car’s coming!” just as dramatic as hers. And with that they were quickly inside Daddy’s blanket where they all huddled until it passed.

In those moments I was entirely focused on some of my greatest joys, and nothing else could fit. No negativity, sickness, or whatever was so consuming before. I was so happy.

I brought out a pan of orange jello Ava and I made earlier, the kind that is packed with delicious mandarin oranges. The four of us sat together on the trampoline with our forks and blankets, and cleared that whole pan in five minutes flat. Doesn’t get better than that. #mamanotes

Monday, November 7

I had a painful headache for most of the day today. I was lying in bed at the end of the day with the 15th (or what seemed like it) movie on for the kids in the next room, and called Jake to ask when he would be coming home. I told him how I was feeling and he said he’d come right home. I felt like saying thank you and I love you ten times over to him for saving the day. When he walked in the door I could hear the kids SO happily yell, “Daddy!!” Then it was quiet until a quick, “Rawr!” and little giggles when the kids found his hiding place. I smiled from under my covers, imagining all those happy faces. And I just love hearing his voice when he comes home.

It was funny as they made their way upstairs, Jake asked them if they wanted to watch a movie and they both said no without any hesitation. 🙈Haha! That is so rare, Jake and I both laughed. Obviously they had movie overload today… He made a quick run to the gas station for a drink for me, then we whipped up some macaroni and cheese and frozen veggies and went around the table a few times saying things we were thankful for. We have SO MUCH to be thankful for. I was amazed at Ava’s responses. She talked so much about how she loves Heavenly Father’s creations and this beautiful Earth and probably mentioned being grateful for her family at least three times. Hyrum just chomped on his popcicle, but when we asked him if he was grateful for all these things too, he said, “yes,” with that cute lisp of his.

We really have so much to be grateful for.
#mamanotes

Happy Halloween!

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Hyrum’s been doing a lot of roaring lately, so it seemed only fitting to get a lion costume for him. Then I thought how cute it would be for Ava to be Dorothy, and since she has no idea who Dorothy is, we all watched The Wizard of Oz last night, despite the memories I have of being terrified of witches and tornadoes after seeing the movie when I was her age. 😁 She loved it and so far doesn’t seem scared so that’s good. This morning after her bath she brought me a hairbrush and two hair ties and said, “Mom, since I’m going to be Dorothy, I should do my hair in two French braids like her.” So I braided her hair and not an hour later we got the costumes dropped at our door. She was SO excited, and danced around the room for a good ten minutes with it on, only changing her clothes to play outside with her friends. Sure glad that worked out. 👍 #mamanotes

Halloween–Ava had so much fun in her sparkly red shoes and her poofy skirt, and Hyrum kept his costume on for over half of the branch trunk or treat (even with all the cornbread crumbs tucked in his mane and the sticky drool from the four suckers he downed as soon as he got them. 😄) It was so fun with them. Jake and I dressed up too (Clark Kent [superman]–see the resemblance?? and Cat Woman) but we didn’t get any pictures of that (they were last minute costumes anyway 🙂

Happy Halloween!!

TWO!

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On Jake’s 30th birthday we went to Bismarck to spend the day. We started off with our first ultrasound at the doctor’s office to estimate my due date. I was about eight and a half weeks along. Jake sat quieting the kids on the chair next to me, looking up at the big screen above us. I nestled onto the reclined chair, so excited to finally see that little baby, to finally see that heartbeat and know that everything was ok. I had been looking forward to that day for so long it seemed.

The tech placed the ultrasound on my stomach, and TWO little circles appeared–two little sacs with two little babies and teeny tiny heartbeats in them. It was the HAPPIEST surprise! I think my hand was over my mouth the whole time we watched those little beans in there. The first thing Jake said (and he was smiling while he said it) was, “This is going to be a lot of work.” Still he considered it the best birthday present. I think we’d both count it as one of our happiest days.

We're Having Twins!

Ever since then, I think and dream about them all the time. Those little toes, those little noses, trying to make time go by faster. I’m so excited about it all. I’m also feeling the effects of a solid first trimester with two. I’m sure it could be a lot worse, but I’m so ready to be done with the nausea, fatigue, and headaches that keep me in my sweatpants all day, not wanting to do ANYTHING. Somehow my kids are doing alright (they’re good sports about all the t.v. shows, lack of food options, and mom not wanting to get up.) I’m still cleaning up messes, reading books, putting together puzzles, and giving all the cuddles and kisses, just a little less active mama (and maybe a little more moody.)

All worth it. So worth it. And we couldn’t be more thrilled.

Chili, Owls, and Owl Babies

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I made chili today. Warm, hearty chili. It’s been quite cold lately, more cold than I like autumn to be, but that’s ok because every year is different and maybe this week will be warmer.

Jake worked late so it was just the three of us. Hyrum spread the chili through his hair and down his shirt, so I put him in the sink to rinse off. He LOVES the sink–filling and dumping cups of water is his thing.

I sat at the kitchen table next to Ava with a towel on my lap while she hummed and drew our family picture. She’s been drawing lots of family pictures lately, of owls and flowers and robots and trees. It’s one of my favorite things.

Ava drew a little owl baby in my owl tummy. The past few months Ava has been praying for more brothers and sisters. We’ve been praying for that too, for what seems like a long time. But, as we have seen with Ava & Hyrum, Heavenly Father sends them when the time is right. We do what we can to get things in order, and then we wait on Him.

When we told Ava the news a few weeks back, her face lit up and she smiled so big. She seemed so happy. Ever since, she has prayed for the baby to grow strong and healthy and not get “losed” in every prayer she says. She has faith, that’s why she does it.

Still, in those first few days, I didn’t know what to feel. I’m still kind of that way. I think I’ve been guarding my heart these first few weeks, kind of holding my breath, not wanting to fully embrace it in case it doesn’t work out. Pregnancy is hard that way. It seems even harder when you’ve been waiting so long. I’ve been holding onto the faith that Heavenly Father is in control of all this. Whatever happens will be His will, and I know His will is good. I’m still very happy. Happy and so excited.

Days after that first positive test, I took more tests just to see that second line one more time. That is such a happy, special thing for me.

I’m somewhere around eight weeks I think. I have my first appointment on Tuesday. I’m hoping to get an ultrasound too –really really hoping. I just want to see that heartbeat, to see that life that is really there and still growing inside me. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 12 weeks, with no hint of it. The ultrasound showed an empty sac, the baby probably stopped growing around 6 weeks. I don’t like thinking that that could happen this time, but I also have this feeling that it won’t. As much as I’m trying to tuck away my emotions with this one, I have a feeling, maybe you’d call it hope, that everything’s going to be ok.

So I’m going to keep on hoping and eating saltines and admiring my growing belly (yes it is very much growing, in fact I think it inflated the moment I found out I was pregnant. Darn bloating.)

So all is well here and I am happy.