Category Archives: family

When you cannot do what you have always done

“When you cannot do what you have always done,
then you only do what matters most.” -Robert D. Hales

I have felt really exhausted lately. Rarely a good night’s rest, and so much to do on so little sleep. And free time, what’s that?

But two years ago a sweet sister missionary in our lds branch wrote this quote on a bookmark and gave it to me (before I even knew I was pregnant with twins). It’s from David A. Bednar’s conference talk a few years back, quoting Robert D. Hales. Little did she know how much I would entirely CLING to that comforting reminder two years down the road.

When I focus on the things that matter most, I can feel like I am doing enough. I am trying to remind myself that it IS enough, but what’s clear is that this is where my JOY is.

This morning I asked myself, “What is most important for me to do today?”  My mind was full of a hundred things I needed to do, or wanted to do, but only a few were MOST important.

Pray. Read my scriptures. Love on my family and take care of them. THIS is my joy.

Having done these things by the end of the day I felt like I was doing alright, despite all the things I didn’t do. These are what matter most, and “what matters most lasts the longest.”

Even then, I still managed to shower, put a few loads of laundry through (through, not folded and put away 🙂  read to my kids, feed them, take them to the park, write a mamanote, make soup for dinner, wash some dishes (after the kids went to bed), and order more binkis online.

I DIDN’T pick up the clutter, wipe down the counters, finish the dishes, vacuum the floors, CLEAN THE BATHROOMS (been on my list for a while now 🙈), go through those bills, research that baby rash, trim the kids’ nails, exercise, meal plan, edit pictures, order winter clothes for the kids and new sheets for us (completely ripped while I stood on them last week to get pictures of the twins,) update my blog, play with my kids more, make family videos, take a nap, among so many other things I needed or wanted to do. (This is still a HUGE improvement from a few months ago when I hardly had time to pour myself a bowl of cereal and eat it.)

But somehow, I feel ok with that. Those things will move over to tomorrow’s list, but today I filled with the most important things, and that is always enough.

#mamanotes

The Day the Girls were Blessed

It was a quiet, sweet day.  Our congregation was small and our family far away,  but our hearts were so full. Our babies were blessed, and among other things that Jake mentioned, they were blessed to be a strength to one another in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, to help each other make good choices.  That was comforting to me.  Their blessings were so special.  So grateful for the priesthood, the plan of happiness, and this sweet family of mine.

[About these pictures, I love them. I love the family pictures because they aren’t perfect.  They show just how things have been lately– a lot going on. Happy faces, grumpy faces, spit up, and our favorite– all SIX of us together. I also love the pictures of just the twins because we are just starting to see their personalities and these pictures show some of that.  They are the sweetest and we adore them!]

Esther
Thea

Lately

Hey we’re still here! And our sweet babies arrived!


I have been wanting so much to update with all kinds of cute baby pictures and stories (and that will come) but I haven’t gotten around to it yet because well, I have newborn twins and a displaced toddler and a five year old seriously pushing back against the parenting that I’d been lacking the past few months on bedrest. That, and my computer died 🙁 …along with so many other essential electronic devices. Anybody else’s netflix not working? Or their VCR player? (probably don’t have one…) Or your printer? 😩

I’ve maxed out on memory cards and phone space waiting for my computer to get repaired so I can back it up to the cloud. But I just found out…my computer is not worth saving 🙁 so I will be getting a new one! (When I get around to it 😬) I definitely will be posting lots of cute baby pictures and stories eventually (it really is a sweet time, just so exhausting) but in the meantime, here is a little mamanote from the other day to give you a funny little glimpse into this life we’re living right now (highly doubt you’ll be jealous! haha)

Jake was carrying Esther to the couch when he sat down and looked at his feet. “I stepped in his poop. Can you wipe it off for me?”

A few minutes earlier we were sitting on our bed trying to soothe the babies when Hyrum came walking in with poop on his fingers and his foot. “Poop, Mom,” he said as he pointed with his goobered finger.

Horrified, I jumped up to shower him off while Jake went searching for the mess. Jake and the kids had just gotten home from swimming tonight while I stayed back with the twins. I spent the whole time trying to soothe two crying refluxing babies who both wanted to be held and spit up the moment they were set down (how does one person do that!?!)

I was so exhausted when he came back that I handed one off as soon as Jake got changed. Hyrum and Ava were still changing though, and Hyrum never got a new diaper on. Ava was going to put it on him (bless that 5 year old!) but she was in the room with us wanting to help with the babies and Hyrum went somewhere else.

Then he returned a few minutes later 😧🙈😩.

We found the original mess, but not before Jake stepped in the residue of it 😂.
We got it all cleaned up, managed to fix bowls of cereal and fried eggs for dinner (best we’ve got lately), walked the messy floor for an hour, listened to Ava cry that we couldn’t start a movie at 10pm, then tucked the older kids in bed three hours past their bedtime, hoping the babies would finally settle in bed soon too.

A few hours into this chaos Hyrum asked, “Where’d Grammy go?”

It had been only seven hours since we dropped her off at the airport and I was wondering the same thing.

My angel mother has been with us for the past three and a half weeks, cleaning, cooking, holding, changing, –helping with everything, and she went back home today. I’ve been a little teary wondering how we’re going to do it without her. I was barely managing with her here. Newborn twins with reflux is so much more than a one person job!! It’s taking everything I’ve got.

When we told Hyrum Grammy went back home, he got this sad look on his face and repeated, “Grammy went back home.”

Our house is feeling a little more empty and a lot more disheveled, but somehow I know we’ll make it through. It will all work out. We’re going to do a lot of praying and a whole lot of trying, and we’re just going to do it. 💪👊

More Shaping Moments

I did it again– I added a lot of new posts all at once. Sorry! They are mostly my own journal entries about the struggles I’ve had this pregnancy and how I’ve been learning to overcome and get through them.  At the time I didn’t really feel like sharing them because they were so raw and personal, but I feel like there is value in sharing what I’m learning and what has really helped me get through. I’ve back-posted them all so they coordinate with the right dates. I mixed in a few mama notes as well that I recorded during those times.

Also, we’re 37 weeks!! Can you believe we’ve made it this far?? Such a happy, wonderful thing. My induction date is set for this Friday at 38 weeks, so in just four more days (or less) we’ll be doubling our kids and adding a beautiful new dimension to our family! We can’t wait to meet our girls!

Jelly Beans

We sat on the bed picking out jelly beans; Jake handed Hyrum a popcorn one and he popped it into his mouth along with the blue one he was still chewing. “Popcorn one Mom!” he said happily chewing. Jake and I looked at each other and smiled, wondering when he’d notice the funny taste, and sure enough just after, Hyrum grimaced and pulled the yellow jelly bean from his mouth 😂.
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We’ve all missed having Jake around. Randomly Hyrum would say to me, “Daddy’s gone Mom,” and get a little teary.
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How did we get so lucky the last few days to be all together just the four of us before the twins arrive? (False labor had something to do with it, but I’m not complaining!) It has been so nice! Jake has been able to do some work from home here in Utah, but we have also done plenty of just hanging out and enjoying this time, and it has been really sweet. 💛 #mamanotes