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Category Archives: family

When We Believe

2020-12-10
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We always thought that we’d spend a few years living internationally.

It was a goal, in a way, a dream even, especially for Jake. He joined a company out of college in part because of their work all over the world and opportunities for that.

So far it has taken us to a handful of places across the country that we’ve grown to love. We imagined our next project would be the right timing for an international assignment when this one ended this year. Perhaps Australia, Europe, the Middle East. It all enticed us with the opportunity for experience–for all of us.

We planned to spend maybe seven more years living in diverse places and then settle down and build our own home on a piece of land somewhere closer to family.

Covid changed trajectories for a lot of people, and we did not escape its course derailing. There’s still hope for the possibility of international living in our future, we haven’t closed those doors, but it’s interesting to me that even before covid, before the world stopped and changed so many plans, I was already feeling the desire to change mine.

The summer before last we stumbled upon a piece of land among sprawling pastures and green hills and my heart drew me in to the possibility of settling down, sooner. I felt drawn to this land like nothing before. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was breathtaking! My mind caught hold on all the possibilities of working together on our own piece of land, sooner, and my dreams started building themselves.

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We researched the land and considered our options, but still the price and so many unknowns in our future seemed daunting at best. We didn’t know where our next job would be, how we could afford it, or how it would all work out, but when I starting thinking on these things, a whisper of encouragement often entered my mind,

“With God all things are possible.”

It was subtle yet unmistakable, because I knew the whisperer.

I just needed to trust Him.

I clung to those whispers to hold onto hope and possibility and started building my dreams until one day in prayer He whispered to me again. I felt it so clearly in my heart and in my mind.

We had arranged the financing, researched the land, worked with the agent, and considered our plans, praying for help and guidance through it all.

A few days before we put in an offer on the land, I prayed to Heavenly Father about it all and asked if we should move forward with it.

That’s when He whispered to my heart again. It was an overwhelming love, a distinctly fatherly love so encouraging, and I felt Him say, “Go get it, I’ve got your back.”

For the past year I have clung to those words and that feeling as people changed plans, better offers came in, and we stepped in hole after hole in our efforts to obtain it. But God was planting seeds in those holes, and those whispers gave me hope enough to believe it, even while our feet felt stuck.

Over the past year with each offer and change and roadblock, my heart would sink and anxious stirrings captured my thoughts for a time. But then I would settle, and I’d remember that God keeps His word. And I’d remember the words He shared with me, the whispers that I felt, and I’d keep hoping.

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I remember when I first felt that assurance I told Jake, “Even if we hit roadblocks or if other offers come in, or whatever, I just know that He is going to help us get it. I just know it.”

That’s how powerful connections with heaven can be. That’s why we need to record and remember them.

And we need to believe.

Now here we are, 16 months since those first whispers to my heart and the land is finally OURS. 😭🙏❤️

God is real. His love is real, and so is His help.

He is over all, so aware of us and desiring to help us if we trust Him, if we hope, if we BELIEVE He will.

We still have challenges, but it’s the greatest feeling having God on our team. I feel so very hopeful! I KNOW that with God ALL things ARE possible.

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#mamanotes

“God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future–to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.

God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe.”

-Jeffrey R. Holland

I wrote an instagram post back in July of 2019 when I first saw the land, a year and a half ago. It’s beautiful to me to look back on that hope and those dreams that I’m still dreaming. They are so much closer now. <3

You can read it here.

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Oregon Coast Road Trip

2019-11-152019-11-16

We took a road trip to Oregon in the fall of last year. It was one of those trips I wanted to take for years, and one I often think about since.

Sometimes we even dream of buying a little cottage along a river nestled in those pines and wild blackberry bushes, minutes from the coast, even for just a year or two. It’s a happy thought I dream of from time to time.

Someday we’ll be back, if for nothing else than to feel the thrill of our heart’s content.

This was a last minute trip (as most of our trips are). We had hardly a plan except to explore and enjoy, which landed us on top of a volcano, through the cityscape, and to the sands of the pacific just on day two. We struggled to find a place to stay each night (it was Labor Day weekend) but ended up with just what we needed.

In four days we totaled 31 hours of driving in the car, but we mixed it up with park stops, beach play, and lots and lots of snacks. And the drive was half the fun with all the beauty we got to see together!

It was an incredible trip, one of my very, very favorites.

Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
Oregon Coast Road Trip | thatwemighthavejoy.com
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Potty Training Twins

2019-05-242019-05-24

(and how I’ve actually enjoyed it)

Potty training the twins has been so interesting to me. I dreaded it and put it off and mentally geared myself up for it for weeks while they insisted on using the potty and tried to put on underwear. So when the rain came and planned to stick around for days, I figured we might as well go for it since we’d be staying inside a lot of the time anyway.

But I still dreaded it.

Monday morning I thought of a great heap of reasons why we should put it off another few days or weeks, but Ava was too excited to show them their new underwear and I’d been putting her off for just as long too.

So we did it, we’ve been doing it. Five days in and we’re still not in the clear, but we’re getting there! And it’s surprising to me how much I’ve been enjoying it. How in the world have I been enjoying it?!

I’ve been back to back wiping up messes, folding laundry, dumping potties, picking up juice boxes, and soaking up spills. We’ve been up a lot at night, up too early in the morning, and up more than my body seems up to. I’ve been so tired. 

But I planned for this.

I planned to be 100% present and 100% WITH THEM. (Because how can you protect your couch without that?)

But that has made all the difference.

I think perhaps I have enjoyed my twins more than I ever have before. I’m enjoying them so much! We all are. I’ve laughed with them, cuddled with them, cheered for them. All day I read with them, played with them, LOOKED at them. Really saw them.

And now I see their squinty eyed, gap-toothed smiles as they lean their face into mine and feel my heart swell to bursting because of just how much I LOVE them. And I love this time with them. They are so adorable! So despite the challenges and the fatigue and the many moments I sink, I appreciate all this. It’s been so good.

And it’s inviting that much more joy in our home. #mamanotes

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When Mother’s Day Doesn’t Go Your Way

2019-05-14

“Mom remember this morning how Thea had poop on her finger and we couldn’t figure out where it came from? Well we found it! It’s in your closet!”

Jake and I slumped on the couch together at 9pm, wondering, with partial desperation (but mostly just exhaustion) why the day was so hard. Except we knew largely why. It was Mother’s Day and the twins’ birthday and a whole clumpful of mixed expectations and efforts along with all the usual mess and mishaps (and lots of noise).

Add in my efforts to try to get a nice picture of all four of them together (because they were already dressed and looking nice for church) and everyone’s frustrations festered. I still didn’t end up getting it, at least not in their nice clothes.

It was funny (and not funny) throughout the day just thinking about everything that was happening. The twins fighting over their new toys, Ava yelling that she hated me, and Hyrum locking himself out of the apartment to pout. Esther was crying most of the day because she didn’t have the other stroller or she couldn’t fit her baby in just right, and the other kids whined and teased each other enough that I just laughed when we all sat down to eat brownies and ice cream because it was the quietest the house had been ALL DAY. We cringed at the thought of what our neighbors were thinking. We were all in need of a reset.

That reset came today. Jake and I got up before the kids to get ready for the day, and when Hyrum came into my room after waking I just held him. “I love you Mom,” he said, hugging me back.

I hugged them all as they woke up, looked into their little wanting eyes, and really looked, really listened. I moved along with their ideas and shooed away any thoughts of expectation. We fetched balloons from the grass, watched the wind move the leaves, and built train tracks. We still had tears and complaining and fits about strollers, but we were calmer, we had space to be calmer. And I really tried to hold that space too.

When Jake pulled up at the end of the day, we were already playing on the field. He joined in our frisbee throwing while the twins giggled holding hands and Hyrum rode his bike.

This is parenthood, I thought. It’s a mix of a lot of things, and certainly a lot that is hard. But a lot of it is fun and more of it is filling and all of it is growth. All of it is love. All of it is worth it. And I really love it all.

#mamanotes

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Feeling Seen

2019-03-032019-03-03
...Esther crawled off, stood in front of me with her belly relaxed and her cheeks puffed under her eyes, and looked at me, locked right on my eyes. I looked back at hers and felt a pulse of something straight to my center and down to my toes. A physical feeling. Love, connection, vulnerability, all those things....

The other day I was sitting on the floor by my bed while the kids were jumping onto it.

Esther crawled off, stood in front of me with her belly relaxed and her cheeks puffed under her eyes, and looked at me, locked right on my eyes.

I looked back at hers and felt a pulse of something straight to my center and down to my toes. A physical feeling. Love, connection, vulnerability, all those things.

In those moments we were entirely present, enough to exchange a split second something that felt surprisingly important.

A reminder maybe, that they see me. More than I think.

Or that I see them. That I am really present, really listening, and that they are too. Even just for that moment. I wonder if it lights them up inside like it does for me. Hyrum often wraps me in a hug when I look him in the eyes, like a core reaction to feeling seen.

It’s a powerful thing to let ourselves be really present with others. Love, connection, vulnerability, all those things. Even just a simple recognizing, acknowledging, and BEING SEEN. It’s powerful.

Have you noticed how much more content others seem when we look them in the eyes? (kids and spouse included). When we really SEE them?

Not in passing, not in prodding, not in asking, just when the option is there?

It’s a beautiful thing, and one I want to do more of.
#mamanotes

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