It was dark this morning when the kids walked into our room and opened the curtains. That’s how Ava likes to get us up–she makes it nice and bright, and most of the time it works. But this morning it was cloudy and windy, the kind of wind that you can hear whipping against the walls. Jake got up and the kids followed him everywhere he went as he got ready for work, as usual. I curled up with all the covers, savoring my few extra minutes of sleep. Then the train blew its whistle, and Hyrum was next to me in no time, working his way onto the rocking chair footstool to watch from the window. I pulled the blinds all the way up and watched with him as the train chugged on its way– just past our swaying trees and their yellow leaves.

It felt so good to be there. I thought how happy I am to be able to do this–to sit with my baby at my bedroom window watching the trees and the train and the cold weather blow outside–with nowhere else to be. I felt so lucky, so happy. It’s not without its difficulties, for surely parenthood is full of them, but this is my favorite thing to be home with them.

Jake gave us all hugs and kisses, then locked the door before shutting it behind him. I put on my robe and wrapped in a blanket on the couch. Hyrum stood next to me and buried his head under the blanket, laughing as he tried to walk away with it over his head. Then Ava came over and the two of them tugged on opposite ends, laughing when they fell down. Soon Ava was in the family room closet again, climbing on top of the boxes and pulling things down, as usual. She was making a fort this time, and soon she and Hyrum were snuggled with pillows and blankets under the piano bench with umbrellas for covers. We had cereal and cantelope for breakfast, then headed to the neighboring town for another blood draw for me (I’ll explain why in a later post). The kids ran around the waiting area while I talked on the phone with insurance. I was on hold off and on with the lady, and at one point she came back on the phone while I was changing Hyrum’s poopy diaper in the bathroom wiping his bum with the toilet paper while he sat on the toilet because I had forgotten my wipes in the car. I read them books while they ate their lollipops in the lab. It was a good distraction for me, anyway. I don’t like blood draws.

Then it was rush rush rush back to our little town before Ava’s school bus came to pick her up. Hyrum was asleep when we got home, so when we pulled up, I ran to open the front door to make it easier for me to carry him inside without him waking. When I got back to the car, Ava had woken him up by unbuckling his seatbelt, and most likely talking to him. 🙁

Fortunately Hyrum went back to sleep when we got inside, and Ava curled under the piano bench while I quickly filled her water bottle, prepared her snack, and pulled the green beans and spaghetti noodles from the fridge for her to eat real quick. It was too cold for the short leggings and flip flops she was wearing, so I ran upstairs to grab her some new clothes and shoes. She said she was too tired to get up. I told her if she missed the bus she wasn’t going to be able to go to preschool, so she got up and got dressed, grabbed a handful of spaghetti noodles and we headed out the door by the time the bus beeped it was there. I kissed her forehead and she hugged me and hopped on the bus yelling back, “Love you Mom!”

Hyrum slept for another hour while I made banana bread with the much too ripe bananas, washed a few dishes, picked up the family room, and straightened up the kitchen. He got up when the train came by. I heard him crying at the top of the stairs, saying “Tren! Tren!” so I scooped him up, pulled up my bedroom blinds again, and watched with him again as the train went by. I vacuumed the family room, fed Hyrum quesadillas and green beans from yesterday’s meals and prepared a plate of food for Ava for when she would get home. Then the doorbell rang, and soon my house was full of all kinds of good things, like the smell of banana bread and the LDS missionaries and my sweet neighbor. The kids stayed upstairs watching 101 Dalmations in the playroom, at least most of the time. I love having the missionaries over, and I love sharing the Gospel that blesses us so much.

After they all left around 4:45, I sat on the couch thinking about what to make for dinner, settling on some kind of easy eggs and bacon dish, but not wanting to get started on anything. My sweet friend had brought me sourdough starter and a bag of four brownies, so I sat on the couch on my phone, eating those instead.

I eventually did make dinner. Ava helped me pull the huge fat chunks off the bacon “bits and pieces” (it’s cheaper that way) and tear the spinach into the eggs that she didn’t end up eating any of. She was excited to help though. She pulled one of my decorative plates off the top shelf of the cabinet and begged to eat off it for dinner. So I let her, and it seemed so special for her (even if she hardly ate the eggs off of it.)

I had two loads of dishes to wash by hand, so instead of getting the kids ready for bed on time, I washed dishes while they played in and out of the kitchen. Ava wrapped Bambi’s legs with bandages of toilet paper and made the bathroom into a special room of hers, filling it with decorations and all kinds of things. Hyrum played with a lego train on the kitchen floor and followed Ava around from time to time as she’d come in to tell me all about her Bambi’s injuries.

101 Dalmations was still running on repeat in the vcr player upstairs, so the kids sat in front of it and insisted on watching the rest of it before bed. I didn’t feel like making an issue of it, so we negotiated and I told them that this would take the place of reading books for the night since it was getting late. Ava agreed and I had some early quiet time. I sat on the couch downstairs and read through some of my journal entries over the past year, grateful for the times I did write.  So here I am writing tonight while Jake is at the church so that I can remember at least a little glimpse into what our days were like at this time.

When the movie was over, we said prayers and I tucked the kids in bed. Ava prayed for her far-away friends in Texas, for Daddy to get home safely, for her grandparents and her cousins.  She thanked Heavenly Father for the Earth and for her home. She prayed for Hyrum and for me, as she always does. Ava really wanted to go to sleep in her own bed next to Hyrum’s tonight, so I let her. They kept each other up (as usual), so after 20 minutes, Ava went into our bed to sleep, and Hyrum back in his crib. He got out a few more times, then finally went to sleep. Fortunately bedtime wasn’t so much of a battle tonight. It has been a lot lately.

When I tucked Ava in bed for the night she snuggled into the covers and said, “I like having a mom.”

That was just how I felt, from the beginning of the day to the end. I like being a mom too. Grateful that I can be near so often.

#mamanotes