Baby in the Drawer

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Hyrum perched himself here while I did the dishes. We don’t have a dishwasher, so washing dishes can take a while at times. Hyrum does just fine filling in the time. He plays with tupperware, empties the drawers, and tastes each kind of cereal by shaking the bags out on the floor (I should’ve moved the cereal out of that cabinet by now.)

Meanwhile I listened to this devotional by Russell M. Nelson and his wife while I washed, and it was probably the best part of my day. Every time I listen to the prophets and apostles, I feel a greater desire to draw closer to God and align my life with His will. I just feel so good, and I’m so grateful for them.
This promise really stuck with me, so I made a quote to pin it. Feel free to use it too.

Hyrum’s First Birthday

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My little one year old, do you know how loved you are? I want to share with you a small part of the way I feel about you, my sweet little boy.When we first learned that you would be joining our family, I jumped into your father’s arms rejoicing. Even the thought of your arrival was joyful above even the most happy of things. And then you arrived, and when I saw your squishy little cheeks and your perfect little body I felt as if my heart would burst. I could not get enough of you. I held you as often as I could, kissing the crest of your nose so many times, as if I could convey to you in some way how much I loved you. But I don’t know if I ever could convey that deepest of feeling. It just came when you came. I love you without limits, without knowing who you’ll become, your talents or your goodness. From your glorious beginning, you were first His before you were mine, and I wonder if this feeling is precisely what God gives us parents so that we can feel His love. He shares with us a tiny piece of what He knows of you and your eternal destiny and how perfectly he loves you, and He packages it up in this transcending peaceful wonderful feeling we call love. And oh if I could show you how much He loves you! But that is something you will come to feel for yourself, in time. And it will be a most wonderful thing.
So for now, I will kiss you and cuddle you and sing you lullabies of your heavenly home so that you may know that the love we have for you spans oceans and skies, binding heaven and earth with the divine alliance of your earthly and heavenly parents. So for now may you know that you are so dearly, everlastingly, loved.Happy one year my dear, sweet Hyrum!
#mamanotes Hyrum turned one on December 30th. We were still in Utah at the time, so we invited both our parents for a little cake to celebrate (it was the first time we had any family nearby for any of the kids’ birthdays, so we were pretty excited about it.) My favorite part was watching Hyrum’s face while we sang Happy Birthday to him. He looked like this…
1st birthday (It was adorable.)

Grumpy Gills.

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I think a good test of character is how grumpy we are when our night’s sleep is unexpectedly interrupted many times. The past few nights I don’t think I did too well with that.

I think it’s one of those days where I’m just struggling a bit. When I should be doing some things, and I don’t. And I should be more patient, and I’m not.

Getting Ava out the door for preschool today was all rush rush rush and I seemed to get on her case about everything. Hyrum’s crying seemed to drown out my patience while I searched for my keys. And when Ava said she may have been playing with them earlier, unfortunately she was my scapegoat.

Fortunately I have some really forgiving people in my life. When we were finally all buckled up and on our way, I reached my hand back and put it on Ava’s lap. “I”m sorry for being so unkind and impatient today, Ava. I’m having a rough day and I’m taking it out on you. Will you forgive me?” If she could have hugged me with those big blue eyes, she certainly did. She smiled and nodded and squeezed my hand. And the whole drive to the school I didn’t let go of her little hand because I just wanted to give her as much love as I could in that moment. I was so grateful for her goodness, so grateful that there is such a thing as forgiveness. And when I parked the car back in front of our house, I bowed my head and thanked the one who is the author of forgiveness. I asked for mercy, for a fresh start, for a better way to go about my day. And because of the atonement of Jesus Christ, He so freely gives it. And I am so, so grateful for that.

So here’s to being kinder, more mindful, and more in tune with the Spirit and the needs of those around me.

Blessed Car Troubles

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The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, we packed up our little blue Ford Explorer and headed out to Denver, Colorado to spend the holiday with Jake’s oldest sister and her family. About two hours into the trip, the car jolted, the o/d light started flashing, and the check engine light went on. It was clear that the transmission was going out. 🙁 Fortunately we had 10 hours of driving ahead of us, so we talked cars. New cars, used cars, car repairs. And we prayed. A lot.

We made it safely to Denver and had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family. We ate lots of good food and the kids had a blast playing nonstop with their cousins.

And then came Friday, and I just remember being so cold going from car to car and place to place looking for a vehicle to take us home. And hopefully one that would last us a long time, had plenty of space, could tow a boat…(this list was quite long.) I hate car shopping and being frugal. And practical. And except for the free hot chocolate, I really didn’t enjoy the experience at all.

After many hours of shopping, nothing felt right. We were tired and grumpy.

On the way home, we talked about our Explorer and what we were going to do with it. We got a few trade in offers, but nothing that substantiated the worth of the car. It would be worth far more to Jake’s nephew in Denver. He had just returned from his mission and he was looking for a car to take to school in a few months. Jake mentioned giving it to him, and we decided that was probably the best thing to do since we have felt quite blessed lately. And it seems that when we give, we are well taken care of in the end. And we were!

We came home from our shopping and researched more. And prayed more.

Around 11pm when I had mostly exhausted my online search, Jake handed me his phone and said, “This is the car I want.” I looked at it briefly and said with a bit of surprise, “This is the one I want too!” I felt excitement and relief and gratitude all at the same time.

And that’s the crazy thing about it, it was exactly what I wanted. And exactly what we needed.

So we went to the dealer first thing in the morning, spent a few hours with the car getting a few concerns addressed, paid right under our budget, and drove away in our 2005 Yukon.

And now as we drive through this snowstorm on our way home, we are humbled by the series of events and how well everything worked out. We know that God’s hand is in the details of our lives. Our car started having issues at just the right time because we wouldn’t have taken it to Denver if the issues were apparent before we left. Not that we wanted car issues, but it was great timing because it put us in Denver where we would have more options for buying a car than in our little area of N Dakota, and it enabled us to get our car to Jake’s nephew just when he needed it.

I have no doubt that when we do our best to follow God’s commandments and ask for His help when we need it, we will never be on our own. He will help us, and things will work out. We didn’t come away with a brand new car, but we got just what we needed.

I see His hand in my life every day and every day my faith grows stronger. I know that He is there and that He wants to help us. And that is so comforting.

A Child’s Prayer

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Picture this. Ava in her little mermaid costume, sitting at the table with a napkin on the table and a handful of goldfish on top. There are also three other napkins on the table with goldfish on top. They belong to the three baby dolls also seated at the table with her.

This was her prayer on the goldfish.

“Dear Heanly Fauder,

Gank you for this day and gank you for mommy and Ava and daddy sleeping. And gank you for this food and for the babies. And gank you for my room and for the goldfish. Gank you for families together forever and for the Gospel. Name of Jesus Christ Amen.”